Sometimes a guy needs to step out of his daily drudge and live a little… try a new look, spin some vinyl, you know, spread his proverbial wings. So, I’ve developed some “aliases” to allow me to fully embrace those moods. Here they are:
Petey Sunshine –
This is actually my original name, not an alias. But apparently there’s another guy out there on WordPress named “Petey Sunshine” so I couldn’t use it. Sonofb*tch. They call me this ’cause I looooove the sunshine. I would spend everyday in it if I could. But no. We have to live this damn mold spore of a state, rarely get sunshine. I’ll stop there.
Petey Sweets –
This is part of my rapper/DJ identity. Yes, I do rap on occasion, spin some records for the ladies. My full identity is “Petey Sweets – Candy Wrapper“. ‘Zup?
Petey McSweets –
So, this is my Irish name, derived from my rapper name alias, as you might have guessed.
Petey McSpeedy –
This they call me ’cause I like to run like the wind…the wind through a shrub, but I still like to get it goin’, do the “Chi 50” in the house. I race between the dinning chairs, figure-eight under the coffee, streak behind the couch and blaze up the stairs. Yeeeeeah!
Petey One-Ear –
This is my mob name. I’m not at liberty to say what mob I’m affiliated with…otherwise I’d be Petey NO-Ear. I never forget the cannoli.
Pete Lalanne –
This is what they call me when I help mom work-out. You know, like Jack Lalanne. I heard he died so I’m trying to continue his legacy, you know. I’m an excellent spotter and like to help mom keep motivated during her squats.
I also encourage her to eat carrots. I love them. Know what I love more, though? Sugar snap peas. I love them most. I don’t want to share them. I don’t.