Happy Ho’oween?

Ok, so as a Chihuahua I don’t particularly like to get dressed up. For anything. Especially Halloween. It’s jus’ not my style, I’m a commando kind of guy. I’m all about hanging out all the way, all the time. With that said, I can respect peeps who want to get dressed up on Halloween. That’s cool, that’s their choice and I’m all about choice..I like to have a choice between chicken and steak and cheese and sugar snap peas, apples with peanut butter…anyway…

So, I’m cool with other people getting their costume on. But what my curious Chi mind wants to know is what the hell is with all the whore costumes for ladies? I mean, seriously. A girl can’t just dress up as regular ol’ Pocahontas, now she has to look like Whorahontas. I mean there are some costumes that jus’ assume a little sluttiness, like you  know, say, a French Maid or a Go-Go dancer…or a hooker. But now, every darn costume made for the ladies has as much material as a shrunken thong. They take the most innocent costumes and strip it down and turn up the skank. Hey! Look at the  Zombie Tramp!

And this not jus’ an issue for grown ladies, but little girls, too! Prepubescent hussy costumes! Doesn’t anyone see that a sexed-up Hello Kitty costume for a 9 year old girl is jus’ WRONG?!  I mean don’t their daddies care? If I was was a daddy _ I mean I can’t be because they cut off my junk before I was old enough to be a daddy – BUT if I were one, I would not want my little girl dressed up as a slutty pumpkin!

I mean I understand that some ladies – LADIES, NOT little girls – may want to feel a little sexy, ’cause maybe they don’t get to dress sexy much, but sheeesh then go for the Play Boy Bunny or “dirty teacher”, but don’t sex-up dinosaurs! I mean I’M an animal and I don’t find dinosaurs “sexy”!

And you know, also I think there’s no creativity in the slut costumes…just take any ol’ idea and show some cleavage and crotch and there you go! Look! I’m a skanky witch!

I realize I may be all alone in my viewpoint…it’s a rare dude doesn’t like a lot of skin, but there’s a lot to be said for what I call the “librarian effect”. You know, a little mystery, little anticipation of what lies underneath…but hey I’m a Chi what the heck do I know, right?

So, jus’ sayin’ that Ho’oween costumes don’t make me think “OOOOO, she’s hot.” I think “OOoo, good thing I got my shots!”
Peace and peas,
Pete

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About Angie Longacre


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