So once again the Chi gets the shaft. I just found out mom went to a big, beautiful beach without me. Yes. Without the Chi. I was betrayed and I’m typically not an easy guy fool. I’m really still jus’ in disbelief.
I love the beach, you know? Especially smooth sandy beaches, not like some of the rocky, barnacled ones they have here in this mold-spore. Walking on that stuff can actually be dangerous for a Chi, you know. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure-footed as a mountain goat, but you know, those barnacles can tear up even the strongest paws. I’m the kind of guy can get caught up in the moment sometimes and, well, not always pay attention to where I’m stepping. And you know, it’s nice to get
“caught in the moment”, not worry about your paw getting ripped open like a filleted fish.
See, I love ocean just as much as mom and…ok, maybe not the ocean exactly. I don’t like the water like mom, she thinks she’s a damn mermaid or dolphin or something. Chi’s, they prefer to be dry. I guess you could say we’re landlubbers…and we don’t appreciate wet sand all up in our undercarriage. And I’ll admit the waves, they intimidate me. No, they don’t scare me, just intimidate – there’s a difference, look it up. But. I do love the beach. The dry part. Where the waves don’t reach.
So ok, like I was saying…mom abandoned me for nine days while she went flitting off to Florida. Yeah, see, she put me in the car…“Oh we’re going to Aunt Jodi’s, oh you’re going to play with Emma, oh what big fun, oh…” …blah, blah, blah…lies, lies, lies with jazz hands.
When we get to Aunt Jodi’s she acts like she’s just stepping out to her book store or her antique place, so I’m thinking I’ll tear up some stuffed animals with Emma, get some pets from Aunt Jodi, mom will get a few books then we’ll go home.
Nope. Not what happened. I was ABANDONED. For NINE days. Ok, maybe being left at Aunt Jodi’s doesn’t qualify as being abandoned exactly, but I thought I was a companion pet. Chi’s are companion pets. I’m a priddy smart guy and I believe “companion” means someone who accompanies, you know, like “go with”. So. Companion pet = a go-with pet…A freakin’ pet that goes to the beach. Any beach! There’s nothing in the dictionary that says “someone who accompanies, except to the beach” is there?!
……………………………………………..Ok, sorry, I didn’t mean to lose my composure. I’m a laid-back, Margaritaville kind of guy and typically don’t like to get my bits in a bunch – It’s unbecoming for a respectable Chi. But, well, you know, even a strong,
self-confident dude like me has vulnerable moments and I was jus’ disappointed I didn’t get to go along – again. I mean mom says she misses me, she says she wishes she could take me, but she doesn’t seem to try very hard. After a while a guy starts to lose faith, gets a little edgy, you know?
But even though I would so love to be a cross-country Chi, I guess I should be thankful that I do get to go lots of places locally…car rides for coffee, trips to the beach here, some parks, the vitamin store (they love me there), up to aunt Jodi’s, etc. I mean, I could be under house-arrest like Elsa and Gus. That would be truly devastating. But Elsa shouldn’t leave the house anyway, you jus’ can’t let evil out of the house. It’s not responsible.
So, I’ll jus’ try to be thankful for the places I do go and continue to dream longingly about faraway beaches.