Monthly Archives: March 2011

OMG Gus and Elsa Are”Haunted”

Holy cow! Mom filmed these weird lights in our bedroom. I think they might be a ghost. You know, I’ve said that I thought Elsa was a demon, but but she was sitting right there, so it must be something else and they didn’t look evil. Elsa is evil, though.

Helen says she thinks it’s Gussy’s garden angel. No, wait…guardian angel. Garden angels are something different, they’re called g…..gnomes, I think. Anyway, Gus needs one, a guardian angel, protect him from Elsa. I want to think it’s his angel, too. I, mean don’t get me wrong, I am a brave guy and all, but it would be weird sharing a bedroom with a thing I don’t know what it is.

Maybe we should name Gussy’s angel. Virgil? That sounds like a good name for an angel. Virgil.

Anyway, take a look at the video and see for yourself.    ——- Watch for the light under the stool.   —— Watch for the light in front of Gus on the floor.

Cheers & Chicken,


Defense Mechanism or Halitosis?

So, ok, my mom says I have “breath that could melt her eyeballs”. You know, she means I have bad breath. Yeah, she says that about her Petey Sweets.

However, Helen explained to her thatit could, in fact, be a defense mechanism. You know, like a skunk, but at the other end. So see, I said to mom, it’s not bad breath, it’s stinky for reason! It’s to fight off predators, I could melt the fur off a coyote and save myself, Helen says.  “Cause you know, coyotes are a real threat to a little guy in these parts.

Then there’s the hawks. Hawks could eat me. Swoop right down, grab me with his massive claws and carry me to his nest. I’m only 9 pounds, you know. And even though that’s ma fightin’ weight, those hawks are enormous! But, with my breath-bomb capabilities all I have to do is hit him with a yawn before he grabs me, melt his wings right off. That’s if I didn’t die of fright first.

Naww, I wouldn’t get frightened, I’m a brave dude. Well…mostly.

Anyway, so next time you think a Chi has halitosis, think again. It’s probably his on-board lethal weapon.

Cheers & Chicken,

WA state: Drama Queens and Sissies

So that’s what mom and I think. Let me tell you why…

I’m sure you’ve heard about the earthquake in Japan. That’s sad. I feel really bad for all those people and their pets. And they had a giant wave called…um…a…tsunami? Yeah. That was devastating.

But mom and I heard on the radio this morning that they are evacuating people on the WA coast for a tsunami warning as well. Yeah, guess high they are predicting the waves to be? ONE to FOUR FEET. Heck, my mom swims in waves bigger than that every summer, has since she was a kid. I mean, I never actually saw her, but I have pictures. Actually, lots of people – hundreds – go to the beach all over the country, were waves are bigger than that ALL THE TIME. And they PLAY in them. No one gets hurt. Again I’ve seen pictures. And video.

Now people in WA are running like rats because of FOUR FOOT waves? Man, what sissies! It makes me giggle. Except it’s sad. The people here are afraid of snow, they’re afraid of sunshine and temperatures above 60 and now they’re afraid of little waves. Cheeeesh. Seems they try turn every little turd-nugget of caution into a big steaming pile of crisis. They talk about it on the news non-stop and get people all worked-up. If something really bad ever happens their little hearts will pop like a rabbit’s.

So, you know. I feel sorry for all those people in Japan, but Washington peeps? …Grow some danglers and stop being over-sensitive p*ssies. 4 inches of snow doesn’t not constitute “Snow-magedon”, 80 degree temps do not warrant a “heat-advisory”, nor does 70 degrees require blasting air-conditioning and 4 foot waves do not equate to a tsunami.

Jus’ sayin’.

Cheers & Chicken,

I’m back

Hi. <sigh>

I’ve been away for a while. Well, you know, I just started this blog and all, so there’s really not much to be “away from”, but I didn’t intend on taking a vacation just yet.

You know, I think it’s the weather. Yeah, makes me depressed. I don’t like to be the kind of guy that blames my moods on the weather, but, well, sometimes it’s true. I do love the sunshine so. I do. And sometimes the rainy, dreary, grim, grey, dismal, damp, soggy, saturated, humdrum, monotonous, oppressive, vapid, bleak…you get the idea…weather gets to a dude. Can’t help it.

I try to do “indoor things” to keep my mind off of it, but you know, being INSIDE all the time is depressing, too. I do love the sunshine. I love the outdoors…the feel of the sun-baked grass under my belly, the nip of sea salt on the air, the music from the birds in the lush trees. This is starting to sound like a douche commercial. You get what I’m saying though, right?

Sonofabitch. I jus’ found out the words to Michael Jackson’s “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin'”. Mom accidentally turned on American Idol ’cause she was looking for a different show and got stuck on that channel. I never knew half those words….

Anyway, I didn’t really have that much to say. Jus’ wanted to write something. You know, things could be worse. I could be like my buddy, Gus. Don’t get me wrong, I love Gus, he’s my pal, but he’s jus’ not so bright. You should see how he eats popcorn. He rams his face into mom’s bowl until a piece sticks to his nose then tries to lick it or something. I don’t know what he does, but he doesn’t get the popcorn in his mouth. He’s funny. Poor dumb dude.

Ok, well, I need to go get some chewing satisfaction. Pray for sunshine.

Cheers & Chicken,