The TV Says I need A Scooter?

What the hell? So I just saw this commercial on TV. Yeah I try not to watch too much, but sometimes a guy jus’ needs to chill.

So anyway, they ask “Do you feel like a burden to others because of your lack of mobility?” Well, I think, you know, mom has to help me into the car ’cause I’m a short-legged guy. Much as I want I can’t make that jump. And I hate to admit it…I can’t get in the bath tub by myself, either. A guy needs to stay clean, you know. So, yes, my answer is yes.

Then they asked “have you fallen in the last 12 months?” Ahh shi…yeah. There was that time when I got tangled in my leash I was so excited by the cute Pomeranian walking by, I fell on my nose. Damn it. yes to that one, too! And they said if I answered “yes” to both those questions I may need a scooter. Crap. But not one of those fun ones that mom could drive on the road. Nope. They’re talking ’bout the ones old people ride in Walmart. Not that I’ve ever been to Walmart, but I see pictures. And not that there’s anything wrong with old people, mom’s gonna be one someday, but sheeesh. I’m only THREE. Even in dog years that’s only 21. I’m in ma prime, dang it.

Screw them. I’m not listening to any more stupid commericals. It messes with a guy’s head. Sonsab*tches.

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About Angie Longacre


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