Well, this past weekend was preddy successful. I got excellent chewing satisfaction with the bully-stick mom gave me Friday night. They are delicious. Mom says they stink, but I find the aroma calming. But mom thinks those dumb dried leaves in the bathroom smell good. I jus’ want to pee on them. I don’t, of course, cause I’m a gentleman, but I sure do want to.
On Sunday mom took me on a walk down by the water. I do love the smells of the ocean air. But I have to watch where I step, there’s lots of goose poop, you know, and often their turds are bigger than my Chi paws. It’s narly. And it’s green! Who poops green stuff? I mean really. At first I thought it was balls of grass, like from a lawnmower, but mom told me what it really was. Blech. Elsa doesn’t even poop green and she’s possessed.
Sometimes, I actually don’t want walk to go for a walk. You know, sometimes a guy’s jus’ not in the mood to be traipsing around in the cold. Mom doesn’t get that. She thinks I need my exercise, which is true, of course. But I can get a full run-on in the house, it’s a big place for a guy like me….3 levels, 2 sets of stairs. Game of fetch up and down the stairs, a few chases on Elsa’s furry butt and I’m set.
Don’t get me wrong now, I do appreciate that mom wants to get me outside and smell things, I do enjoy that immensely. But, you know, a guy has different moods and sometimes he jus’ doesn’t want his paws cold and wet. And I am NOT going to wear those stupid sissy boots that some guys get sucked into wearing. Sheeesh. I’m Chi, not a damn doll. And why do dolls even have to wear shoes? They don’t really walk! And….
Ok………ok……I don’t want to get all unhinged. I should stop right here. I’ll go sit by the window for a little while, watch the squirrels or something. Yeah….
Cheers & Chicken,