What the hell? So I just saw this commercial on TV. Yeah I try not to watch too much, but sometimes a guy jus’ needs to chill.
So anyway, they ask “Do you feel like a burden to others because of your lack of mobility?” Well, I think, you know, mom has to help me into the car ’cause I’m a short-legged guy. Much as I want I can’t make that jump. And I hate to admit it…I can’t get in the bath tub by myself, either. A guy needs to stay clean, you know. So, yes, my answer is yes.
Then they asked “have you fallen in the last 12 months?” Ahh shi…yeah. There was that time when I got tangled in my leash I was so excited by the cute Pomeranian walking by, I fell on my nose. Damn it. yes to that one, too! And they said if I answered “yes” to both those questions I may need a scooter. Crap. But not one of those fun ones that mom could drive on the road. Nope. They’re talking ’bout the ones old people ride in Walmart. Not that I’ve ever been to Walmart, but I see pictures. And not that there’s anything wrong with old people, mom’s gonna be one someday, but sheeesh. I’m only THREE. Even in dog years that’s only 21. I’m in ma prime, dang it.
Screw them. I’m not listening to any more stupid commericals. It messes with a guy’s head. Sonsab*tches.
Well, this past weekend was preddy successful. I got excellent chewing satisfaction with the bully-stick mom gave me Friday night. They are delicious. Mom says they stink, but I find the aroma calming. But mom thinks those dumb dried leaves in the bathroom smell good. I jus’ want to pee on them. I don’t, of course, cause I’m a gentleman, but I sure do want to.
On Sunday mom took me on a walk down by the water. I do love the smells of the ocean air. But I have to watch where I step, there’s lots of goose poop, you know, and often their turds are bigger than my Chi paws. It’s narly. And it’s green! Who poops green stuff? I mean really. At first I thought it was balls of grass, like from a lawnmower, but mom told me what it really was. Blech. Elsa doesn’t even poop green and she’s possessed.
Sometimes, I actually don’t want walk to go for a walk. You know, sometimes a guy’s jus’ not in the mood to be traipsing around in the cold. Mom doesn’t get that. She thinks I need my exercise, which is true, of course. But I can get a full run-on in the house, it’s a big place for a guy like me….3 levels, 2 sets of stairs. Game of fetch up and down the stairs, a few chases on Elsa’s furry butt and I’m set.
Don’t get me wrong now, I do appreciate that mom wants to get me outside and smell things, I do enjoy that immensely. But, you know, a guy has different moods and sometimes he jus’ doesn’t want his paws cold and wet. And I am NOT going to wear those stupid sissy boots that some guys get sucked into wearing. Sheeesh. I’m Chi, not a damn doll. And why do dolls even have to wear shoes? They don’t really walk! And….
Ok………ok……I don’t want to get all unhinged. I should stop right here. I’ll go sit by the window for a little while, watch the squirrels or something. Yeah….
Cheers & Chicken,
Hello world! I like the sound of that. Helloooo world! Kind of makes me feel like Leonardo…wait. Oh that was “I’m king of the world!” I always thought of myself more of a prince kind of guy. Not that I like purple so much and I would never change my name to a symbol. Dumb.
Anyway, so thanks for checking out my blog.
Like my the page says, I am a Chihuahua and these blogs will be my stories. I felt, you know, I’m a preddy thoughtful guy, I notice things, I have original thoughts so why not share my stuff with the world – everyone else is doing it. ‘Course, that doesn’t means it’s right, doing it ’cause everyone else is. There’s plenty of examples of that out here on the great wide web, but I think a guy like myself could make a unique contribution. And it gives a me chance to vent my frustrations with Elsa (see her link). Mom says writing is good therapy.
If you would like to know more about my life before starting this blog, you can click on the “About” button to learn of my humble beginnings. I don’t write about it much…I jus’ try living in the present, looking at the future. That’s how I roll.
This is very exciting, very exciting. So I jus’ want to say thanks again for reading my stuff.
Cheers & Chicken,